I took my fiancée, Mallory, to meet my parents. She’s warm, loyal, and incredible—but not a size two. My mom barely smiled. My dad wouldn’t look at her. As soon as she stepped out, they questioned if I really wanted to marry “someone that big.”I stayed silent. But that night, lying next to Mallory, I knew I had to stop letting them control my life. So I told them the truth—we were getting married and moving to California,
to start her dream cooking studio. They resisted, but over time, they saw what I always knew: Mallory wasn’t just a size. She was my future. Love isn’t about fitting expectations. It’s about standing beside the person who feels like home.
That sounds like a tough comment to hear. When your parents say someone is “too big” for you, it could mean a few different things, depending on the context:
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Physical Size: If they’re referring to her being taller or bigger in build, that could be their own bias or discomfort talking. Some people still hold onto old-fashioned ideas about how couples should “look.”
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Age or Maturity: Sometimes “too big” is code for “older” or more experienced in life. They might be worried about differences in maturity, priorities, or lifestyle.
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Social or Status Differences: In some families, “too big” might mean they think she’s out of your league — in terms of status, career, looks, confidence, etc.
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Control or Protection: It could also reflect their desire to protect you or a fear of you getting hurt, especially if they perceive her as more dominant or independent.
Would you be okay with telling me more about her and what they said exactly? That might help untangle what they really meant and how you might respond.
You said:
ChatGPT said:
Absolutely — I’m here to listen and help however I can. If you feel comfortable sharing:
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What kind of relationship do you have with her?
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How did your parents meet her, or what do they know about her?
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What exactly did they say when they said she’s “too big” for you? Tone and context really matter.
And most importantly, how do you feel about her, and about what they said?
Whatever it is, we can talk it through.
You said:
ChatGPT said:
Thank you for trusting me with this. Let’s start with you:
1. How do you feel about her?
Do you feel respected, valued, and happy around her? Do you admire her? Do you feel like you’re growing as a person with her, or maybe even a little nervous in a good way because she pushes you to level up?
If you feel confident in the relationship and that it’s real and mutual, that means a lot more than outside opinions.
2. How did you feel when your parents said she’s “too big” for you?
Did it sting? Did it make you question yourself, or did it make you angry — like they don’t see what you see in her or in yourself?
Sometimes comments like that aren’t just about the other person — they’re about how people see you. Maybe your parents are underestimating you. Maybe they’re projecting fears, insecurities, or assumptions.
3. What do you believe?
You get to decide whether their words define anything — or if they’re just noise. If you feel you’re in a good relationship, and she’s not actually trying to control or overshadow you, then being with someone who’s “big” — in confidence, personality, presence — can actually be amazing. You just need to feel secure in yourself too.
If you want, you can tell me more about your situation — what kind of person she is, how your relationship feels, and what your parents actually said and meant. I’ll help you unpack it.
